I do not believe that I was born an addict. I don’t be believe I was destined from the beginning to live a life of misery, fear, and destruction. However, despite my best efforts, that’s exactly where I ended up. For one reason or another, my life was a constant battle against fears and trauma’s that I clung too from the past. These fears dictated my behavior, and I suffered greatly. I became a prisoner to my thoughts and a slave to getting high. Down the rabbit hole I went, to the depths of a bonafide junkie.  From this emerged numerous bottoms which would produce attempts to reclaim myself. Each one bringing new promises and new resolves; and although genuine at the time, they never seemed to hold much water. 

Traditional rehab would give me brief moments of clarity and clean time. But my obsession never left. It was as if I never truly felt like I had no choice in my decision making. The smallest impulse to use would send me into full blown obsession which always lead to a relapse. This pattern was demoralizing and made me question my ability to do anything. Ten rehabs later, I was desperate. I could not understand why this was not clicking for me. I had watched other friends of mine get and stay sober, so why couldn’t I? They told me that I should be on Suboxone for the rest of my life. I could not accept that. 

Suddenly, I was called by Ibogaine, an ancient plant medicine known for it’s ability to treat addiction. A friend of mine had recently received Ibogaine treatment and told me that it was something I needed to do right away if I wanted a real chance at living out a healthy life. I was very intrigued. As someone who holds a strong belief towards the benefits of Entheogen’s, I was quick to look into this option. I researched. I learned that Ibogaine is the main psychoactive alkaloid in the Tabernanthe Iboga shrub which grows in central western Africa. The Bwiti tribe have used Iboga for centuries, using it as a ceremonial initiation plant. In the early 1960’s, Ibogaine was recognized in the USA for it’s powerful ability to ‘interrupt’ addictions, specifically to Opiates, Cocaine, and Alcohol. Of course, it was made illegal due to it’s psychedelic properties. However, enough people recognized it’s incredible ability to dissolve addiction patterns and it’s research and use continued to be utilized in Ibogaine Clinics around the world. It became understood that Ibogaine resets the brains neurotransmitters and restores damaged receptor sites to a pre-addicted state.  

I made a decision. I felt like there was something to this Ibogaine treatment and I was ready to find out. Within no time, the plans were put together and I was packing a bag with a one-way ticket to San Diego, where I would drive across the boarder into Mexico. Was I nervous? Yes. Going to another country to take a non regulated plant medicine was not somewhere I saw myself ending up. Something about it felt right though, and I had high hopes for this treatment. 

The treatment center sat in a beautiful villa along the pacific ocean called Holistic Hope House. It was a cozy place with 24 hour professional nursing staff which put me immediately at ease. And so it began, a week long deep cleanse of the body in preparation for the plant medicine. A non gmo all organic diet, no processed foods, raw juice cleanse, three organic coffee enemas daily, as well as Nicotinamide Adenine Dinucleotide (NAD) I.V therapy daily. At the same time, being slowly tapered off of opiates using morphine. They even took me for a stress test, echocardiogram, and EKG to make sure I was a good candidate for the treatment. They have developed this protocol over many years with outstanding results.  Although not easy at times, they told me the preparation is a sacrifice to the plant in return for a beautiful experience and a new way of life. This preparation went on for a full 7 days, which at the end, left me feeling cleaner than I have ever felt in my entire life. But that was just the beginning. 

The eighth day I was ready for Ibogaine. My GI track was aligned and clean and my liver was expunged of toxins and ready to absorb the plant medicine. They laid me in bed, fit me to a heart monitor, and placed headphones on my ears and blinders on my eyes. I took the first capsule of Ibogaine, swallowed it, and sat back to relax. Over the next 4 hours I would take another 4 doses of Ibogaine, bringing me deeper and deeper into the experience. An experience that can only be explained as divine. An engulfing, ultra-spiritual ocean of lessons to harness and discover. The ability to observe ones patterns from a third party perspective. A beautifully intense experience which demands respect. Some hours later, I ‘awoke’ from the experience feeling worn out and exhausted. But something was different. Not only did the thought of doing a drug disgust me, but I had no withdrawals whatsoever. The obsession and the withdrawal had been lifted over night, literally. 

My Ibogaine experience remains the most profound experience of my life. I was able to successfully move on from my Ibogaine treatment with a completely new outlook on recovery and being sober. Ibogaine plugged me into a spiritual belief system that keeps me going every day, which is a piece of the puzzle I was never able to form on my own prior. For the first time in a long time, I actually felt alive and in touch with myself and my surroundings. Suddenly nutrition was important to me. Treating my body like the temple that it is finally made sense to me. I was able to shed the negative people out of life with no hesitation. Ibogaine gave me new eyes to see. The treatment reintroduced me to my soul and gave me an actual choice in life. Combined with further efforts, Ibogaine treatment saved my life, and I feel obliged to pass the message on to other addicts like me. I pray more addicts find Ibogaine and are able to escape the maze of addiction once and for all.